Move over Martha Stewart

I made a chocolate lasagna cake for my wife on Friday. I was so excited when I got done frosting all of the layers! I couldn't believe that I had actually done it. The cake didn't raise evenly, so it the middle was a little taller than the sides, but I was still proud of myself. I had to take the kids to their primary program practice so I left the cake on the stove. When I came home 15 minutes later I couldn't believe my eyes...

My pride and joy had crumbled... I obviously named my post a little premature. I had the name in mind on the way home from dropping the kids off. I was so dissappointed when I saw the cake I didn't know what to do. I put it back together the best I could and served it to my family. Nikki said it still tasted good, I guess that's all that really matters. It was fun to try it out, if I do it again hopefully it goes better! If you want to know what the cake is supposed to look like, I got the recipe and instructions from our friend, Rachel's blog.

Music

I added a playlist to my blog and I wanted to talk about it a little. Most of the songs in my playlist have a significant reason for being there. Billy Joel is one of my favorite artists, and has been for a long time. Some remind me of Nikki or experiences we've shared. There are some that I just like the music or the song, and yes, there are a couple Weird Al songs in the list. I got hooked on Weird Al at a young age. I think it started when I was about 10 and I would try my hardest to stay up on Sunday nights to listen to Dr. Demento. I usually fell asleep before it was over at midnight.

"Cotton Eyed Joe" is a song that I have never really cared for much, it used to drive me crazy. I added it to my playlist because it reminds me of a friend who died almost a year ago. I worked with him at Winder. If you called his cell phone, instead of hearing it ring, you would hear Cotton Eyed Joe. He was really funny. He was a good friend and always willing to do whatever he could to help a friend. Last year during the Holidays I received a call from my boss telling me that Bobby had taken his own life. I was crushed. I couldn't believe that such a great guy could do that. I still miss him to this day, and I will never forget him. I think about him every time I hear this song, so this is a little tribute to him.

Most of the songs have special meaning because of my sweet wife. She came along when I had given up on ever having another serious relationship, and she has been the greatest blessing in my life ever since. I really was lazy and not good for much, and she has a way of bringing out the best in me. She pushes me, at times I feel beyond my limits, and it makes me better. I wouldn't be much without her, she is truly amazing. I used to karaoke every time I got the chance! It was usually at least 3 times a week. I actually met Nikki at karaoke. The hosts worked with Nikki's mom at IRS and they invited Nikki and her parents to come and "check me out," and the rest is pretty much history. I still love to sing, but we don't go karaoke anymore, it's mostly just when I'm in the car or cleaning house.

A lot of the songs on the list have a story, but I don't want to bore you.

Thanks Nik!

Well, my blog is finally looking like I care about it! I just had to blog and say how wonderful my wife is! I have been struggling to get a background to work, I tried several but couldn't get any of them to work. When I woke up the other day and checked my email there was an email from Nikki telling me to look at my blog... She fixed my blog while I was asleep! She knew I had become quite frustrated about my blog. I am so excited to have a background, and to have such a sweet wife. Maybe this will motivate me to keep up on my blog better than I did 2 years ago...

THANKS HONEY!!!

Frustration...

I'm going to vent for a minute... I am frustrated about a lot lately, my job, my blog not looking the way I want it too, my fantasy football team, and the list goes on. My biggest frustration at the moment has to do with my wife and all she has been through the last 8 months.
I really don't know where to start, but most people who will read this know some of the background already. She had a neuro-stimulator placed that was supposed to help her headaches. They did 2 trials to see if it would work before the permanent implant. Unfortunately something went wrong in both of the trials, but one of them yielded results that made us believe that the permanent device would help. The problem is that the doctor who did the trial is not the doctor that did the permanent. To add to the problem the doctor over-seeing the permanent implant has a reputation of being good, and that rep has gone straight to his head. This kept the doctor who did the trial from being able to give any input as to what worked in the trial. She has had the permanent implant surgery done twice now, and the leads are still not in the right place and the device is still not helping her. The thing I really have a problem with is that my wife is awake for the first part of the surgery to ensure that the leads are put in the right place, and during that time she could hear the impatient comments of the arrogant doctor. It is very discouraging that someone who has gone into the medical profession to help people isn't willing to take the extra 5 minutes to make sure they are helping.
Yesterday Nikki began to have excruciating pain coming from one of the areas of surgery, for no known reason. Now getting doctors and clinics to work together again just to get an x-ray on a Sunday seems impossible. We're the last people who want anyone to have to work on a Sunday, but when Nikki is so miserable I just want to do what I can to get her better.
It really breaks my heart that she has to go through so much, and there is nothing I can do to help! I can help with dinner, housework, and the kids, but I can't fix what's wrong with her, and I can't even make her feel better. I really just wish that there was more I could to help her to feel better. I still hope that we can find a way to get this device to work. It will probably require another trial, and a trip to Denver to have one of the best perform the permanent implant, but in all honesty, anything would be worth getting Nikki the relief she deserves.

What to do...

Wow, time flies!! I can't believe it has been so long since I posted anything. Nikki got a blog going and I wanted to make mine look fancy, but I haven't had any success. I thought about starting to blog again, but I'm not sure whether I should keep this blog, or just blog on our family blog. I don't want to just let this die, and it would be cool to have my own background(if I can get it to work), and my own songs etc... I am afraid that I can't keep this thing interesting on my own. I know that if I blog on the family blog that between Nikki and I it will be updated often enough to keep it interesting. I just don't want 2 years to blow by me again!!!

In case you were wondering, the Botox was short lived and really didn't give any long term benefit, in fact, shortly after I wrote that it was ineffective, even after more injections. So much has happened in the last 2 years I don't know where to start... Nikki has tried a lot of things, all of which, not much help. Skyler continues to have his surgeries every 6 months and not complaining for the 5 1/2 months in-between. Skyler and Nikki are both so tough and really an inspiration any time I hear myself complain. I realize that I don't have much to complain about!

Another Migraine update

Well, we're 1 and 1/2 months out from the Botox injections. We still don't have to go to the Pain Clinic 2 times every week! I think that she has seen results from the injections overall. She still has a daily headache, but most of the time they are not as intense. She has been able to spend more time out of bed and do more. Sometimes she does too much and then ends up paying for it later. This has been wonderful compared to what she's been dealing with, and I hope that she can at least maintain this level of relief, if not get even better. With physical therapy, pain clinic, psychiatrist, and neurologist visits, she keeps a busy schedule. We are also goiong to counselling to deal with all of it. Our oldest son also sees a counsellor for his mood disorder and sees a psychiatrist for his ADHD.

When I think of all the trips we make to the doctor and counsellors, I am very thankful that we have insurance. I just wish it covered all of the expenses. We still have our co-pays plus 10 - 20% of the bill, and persriptions to pay for. It adds up fast, and can get very discouraging. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to make payments for my families health and happiness. It's just a lot of money that we don't have. I plan to update the blog again soon, I am going to put a school paper I wrote in English 1010 that gives my opinion on miracles still happening today, I just have to get it from my home computer. Stay tuned...

Botox update

Well, I think the Botox helped a little. It really seemed to help with the intensity of Nikki's headaches, but she still had daily headaches. She had a lot of neck pain that I think helped to cause her headaches. After about a week we noticed that the Botox that was injected above her eyes had seeped down and is now causing her eyelids to droop a bit. She looks really tired all the time now because of it. She has said that it is a struggle for her to keep them open.
One thing that was funny about this whole Botox situation was when we went to the physical therapist last Friday. She asked Nikki to raise her eyebrows, and I didn't see them move. I was sitting next to her so I didn't have a good view, but they did move a little. Then the PT asked her to scrunch up her nose and eyebrows, then turned and asked me if Nikki was able to do it before Botox, because they weren't moving at all. The Botox apparantly has worked as far as paralyzing the muscles, but I wish it was helping her pain more.